Fasting Disasters

I can’t count the number of my failed fasting attempts. They were more than the successes. Each one had their reason. Sometimes it was stress, worry or an event. Sometimes I blew the fast because I talked myself out of the fast. Sometimes I failed due to temptation or pressure. The end result was always the same, frustration and a feeling of failure.

Going Nuts at Christmas

My worst was during a Christmas. I had fasted over 20 day and was blissfully sailing though endless gorging release by the “Christmas spirit”. Friends and family were amazed by my discipline. The nuts were innocent. Cashews, raisins, pecans, freshly mixed with a roasted nut aroma that incessantly teased me. I started to avoid the room, but like a magnet, I was lured back just to try one. After a fast, one nut is too many and 1000 is never enough. My stomach was sore for three days. An aching reminder that blowing a fast is a lesson in pain.

This is the place to post your failure and make others feel that they are not alone.

Post Your Fasting Disasters


By Tom Coghill of Fasting.ws
ArticlesΒ  may be copied or reproduced as long as the back links to fasting.ws are intact and the author’s name is included.

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49 Responses to Fasting Disasters

  1. carinaTG says:
    carinaTG

    day 5 of my “fast”.. the first couple of days I was good.. then I started sneaking a little food, nothing bad, broccoli, some grapes.. TODAY i blew it bad.. lots of junk, including brownies.. so I start over tomorrow? it felt so good.. but a stressful week, the whole reason I started this fast was to control and discipline my eating under stressful circumstances.. I work a very stressful job, I go to school full time and I have 2 teens! ( that’s the hardest one).. I feel like pigging out right now since I already blew it but my stomach hurts!
    Tomorrow is a new day!!

  2. christina24 says:

    Hi there,
    I have been reading about how to break a fast.. On Sunday I’ll be breaking my 20 day water fast. I keep reading what to eat and to keep with small portions, but I’m wondering about calories. To make sure I don’t have to much, how many calories should I aim for? If I’m eating mainly raw foods, is the amount of calories consumed as important?
    Thanks,
    Christina

    • Tom Coghill says:
      Tom Coghill

      Hi Christana24
      When you break a fast, the digestibility of the food is the most important. For example 100 grams of nuts will cause stomach pain and cramps, 100 grams of mango will make you feel energetic. 1 week later the nuts may be fine but at day one of breaking the fast nuts will cause stomach pain. The key is salads and fruits, and go easy on eating. The line between eating perfect and a sore stomach and be 3 extra bites of food. It is also harder to break a water fast than a juice fast. Try eating only 2 per day for the first 3 days. Can be hard as the hunger can be so intense.

  3. Seeker1 says:
    Seeker1

    Ha, didn’t know this place existed. Yeah My failures were usually within 3 days so i never really suffered too bad. But there was one…hooooo-boy. It was like day 8-9 of a water fast, my first attempt at and extended one. My mind was racing and i just couldn’t take it, i was SOOO bored and i just i wasn’t ready to face myself. So i first started with some chinese “relaxation tea”. I actually got a nice buzz from that, but when i tried it again there was no effect. So i went out to a pizza joint and got this big greasy cheese calzone the size of 3 of my hands (and i’m a bass player so i’ve got some fairly large hands, lol) and tomatoe sauce. I actually didn’t feel so bad, not too much pain or anything, but i didn’t digest it, went right through me, lol, felt pretty wierd. Of course then i went on junk again, But thankfully i worked my way back up in self discipline starting with vegetarianism, then avoiding junk food and all that.
    Actually i think a key to making it is not telling people about it. I notice that when people know, they’re always buggin ya about it and thier worry tends to get contagious. I’m really glad this site exists as if offers support from people who know how healthy fasting really is. Thanks Tom for making this place it’s deff making a difference in my experience with fasting.

  4. KittySoulflower says:
    KittySoulflower

    So I fasted 4 days straight and blew it last night. It’s hard cooking ofr a toddler and not eating plus the night before I kept having bad dreams partly toxins I believe and the intensified advertising of Vampire and serial killer movies and shows soon to come out. So yesterday I was running on 2 hours sleep then I just failed and ate some food. Today I’m taking a break causae I got 2 hours of sleep last night cause my daughter refused to go to sleep til about 3 this morning I wake up at 5am for work. I’m dawg tired today I ate some carbs / oatmeal. hopefully I’ll be back on board by Sunday.

  5. keith101 says:

    Hi Kitty
    You have done well fasting for 4 days, not many make it past day 1, so well done, water fasting needs time out foryourself you have high stress loads bringing up a child, maby you should consider juice fasting
    Best wishes Keith.

  6. JJ says:

    Hello

    I totally blew it on Christmas Day πŸ™ im so disappointed in myself..I had been on day 20 and wanted to go for 30.

    I plan on giving my body a lil time to recover and start another fast Jan 1,

  7. keith101 says:

    Hey jj
    Dont beat yourself up about it, we all fail at times. Christmas is the worst time for fasting, dont worry!!!
    Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start on the 1st or 2nd of jan.
    My testimony was so bad before i fasted 2yrs ago that it could not be read on fasting.ws
    Tom could not allow it to be read. One thing that i can tell you is that i failed about 2 weeks ago after 2 years of sobriaty. Tom got me through the 4 days i hit the bottle with words of wisdom.
    We are still here for you.
    Blessings Keith.

  8. JJ says:

    Thanks Keith

    Your words are very encouraging.
    I appreciate your quick repsonse as well!

    best wishes
    Jess

  9. keith101 says:

    Jess
    Your welcome.
    One thing i have to say is never give in, its only a small blip.
    This is the first day of my 40 day water fast. I will post my vids soon on youtube, there is no point posting them on the first day, “this is boring”…LOL. i have my cam set up so i think i will post them on the 3rd day, thus giving me time to think what i have to say?…But i will give you guys a mention on fasting.ws
    Blessings Keith.

    • JJ says:

      That will be interesting Keith, this is my fourth fast but I have have never water fasted before so id love the intake on what you wil be going through!

      Jess πŸ™‚

  10. keith101 says:

    Jess
    I tryed to post for you tonight, my account is not valid on youtube, i will work on it tomoz.
    Blessings Keith.

  11. JJ says:

    Ok Keith

    Ill watch for it

    Thanks Jess

  12. keith101 says:

    Jess, how are you sweetheart?
    My word sweetheart only means a caring word!!!

    Jess i know you feel a little low, but hey dont worry, im here for you no matter what. Fasting is really hard, but there is one thing, hold your head up high you have done it.
    You have done something not many can do?
    That is power over the “mind”
    To fast as long as you have, be proud of yourself…Coz i really am proud of you.
    Stand strong. I will be here for you allways no matter what.
    All you have to do is say Keith, can i ask you something..lol.
    Blessings with love Keith.

  13. JJ says:

    Hi Keith

    How in the heck did you know I was feeling really down…must have a radar for that stuff lol, Last couple days I have been mentally preparing myself for my fast, sometimes I wanna just binge out on things I may miss during my fast, which I know wont do any good and they never taste as good as your mind thinks it will, and the feeling after is just the worst! Enough about me how is your water fast going..are you feeling weak at all?

    Sending hugs Jess

  14. keith101 says:

    Jess
    I only See into words thats all.
    I have ears like “Sonar beacons to Jess lol.

    Hey” who said you can’t eat the food you like to eat?
    Pamper yourself for a day, then go back to healthy eating.
    Dont” beat’ yourself up about this. Exercise 2-3 times a week, even if it is in your house?…If you have the time Sweetheart?

    Sorry im in this caring mood of calling women sweetheart” hope you dont mind Jess.
    You can still juice/veg fast, even if you have fallin’ a day on pizza, or burgers, LOL. Dont worry. You were the first one to make this change in your life’. Be proud of how far you have came,… Follow on and be strong Jess.
    Blessings and love Keith.

  15. JJ says:

    Hi Keith

    No worries on the sweetheart I call most everyone hun πŸ™‚
    Starting the fast tomorrow…one of the things I dont like about it is feeling cold especially it being winter, and I live in a place where the winters are realllly cold. But I find it is easier for this time of year for me to do it

    Best of luck to ya…how is your water fast going?

    Jess

  16. keith101 says:

    Hey Jess
    Day 3 for me, i am keeping a video diary and trying to post them on youtube, but i cant access my account? i have tryed reseting my password, but with no joy. I will try again today.
    If you get cold then you can drink green tea, this will heat you up, or cayenne capsules. here is one of my baby water fast diarys for you to read…My “First 10 Day “Water Fast Diary”

    Tue 21st “July 2008.

    Day 1…I arose early this morning, knowing that today was the start of my water fast, i had mentally prepaired myself 2 days prior.
    I read up on the benifits of water fasting ie…”Mind, Body, and Spiritually.”
    Cleansing the body of “Toxins.
    There is also the added factor of rapid waight loss.
    Through out this first day, i have been constantly plagued by a rumbling stomach, and hunger cravings,food is allways on my mind
    It is now 1.30am, i have battled the cravings and time to end my first fast day.

    Day 2…i have awoken with a bit of a soar head, and the cravings for food are worse now, but i am drinking pleanty of water.
    i walked 2 miles today, not sure if that was a good idea.
    4pm i fell asleep for a coupple of hours, when i awoke i was so hungry.”I managed to stave off the hunger by reading a book.
    My water intake is around 3 liters a day.
    I stayed up until 2am, went to bed still with food cravings.

    Day 3…I couldnt sleep last night, even though i was really tired.
    I got up at 9.30am,I felt as though i had been hit by a bus,i feel really drained today, the hunger is subsiding, but i am a bit shaky.
    later in the day i walked about 4 miles. I really dont how i maneged that !
    I think that i am starting to find hidden abilities through weakness, i think that when you are at your weakest thats when you start to become stronger, maby thats why i started this fast….amongst other things, iv noticed that i am starting to feel a bit more peacefull.
    Went to bed late, not really that hungry.

    Day 4…I awoke at 7am, still having sleeping problems, when i did sleep i was dreaming about food.
    I am starting to notice some improvement on my skin, i have noticed i feel a bit bloated,
    I looked up the net about being bloated, so i have decided to take a salt water flush, 4 teaspoons of salt to 1 ltr water and drink all at once,
    Its 8pm i have taken the salt enema….YUK…”This has to be the most revolting thing iv taken in my life,
    “Later on the “Hevens opened up !
    It has taken 1hour 40mins to work through my system, and is not nice.
    Went to bed at 12.

    Day 5…I have had a great sleep last night, this morning i feel energized, with feelings of being more a peace within myself,i feel as though i have a bounce in my step today, but i have niticed that my kidneys are soar today, but nothing really painfull.
    Tonight i will be trying something new, “Meditating a 1st for me.
    Its now 11 pm, i have “Meditated and found it to be very relaxing. I feel my “Mind body and, “Spirit are moving back into balance, its a really strange feeling, over the last 5 days i have been trying to heal myself from the inside out, and it is trully working, over the years, i have tryed to heal myself from the outside in, this was to no avail,
    This is an amazing learning, and healing experience for me.
    Its 1am now and time to finish another day.

    Day 6…This morning i feel really refreshed and started praying to “God for guidance in my life, i feel so peacefull, almost to the extent of being closer to “God, this is the first time i have felt this, in a very long time.
    This is similar feelings to when i was baptised, in the sea 4 years previously. I broke down crying, before i was baptised, but had the same “Spiritual peace within.
    11pm, my reflection over today, my life is really changing, my water intake, is about 3-4 liters.
    Time to end another day.

    Day 7…This morning i feel fine, energy levels seem to be dropping a little bit, but nothing i cannot handle.This is an amazing experiance for me.
    11pm i have been reading my bible today quite a lot and reflecting on my past, i am definitally getting deeper into myself and my veiws on lots of things.
    End of day 7.

    Day 8…This morning i awoke with a feeling of well being, food is the furthast from my thoughts, i have been starting to get cold hands,so iv made an appointement to see the doctor to have a check up,
    3 pm back from the doctors, and given the all clear so thats good.
    9pm my last log for tonight; iv been feeling cold lately, so iv cranked the heating up to keep warm, when walking long journeys i get breathless so i have to rest more.

    Day 9…Real peace is now really hitting me, I have never felt like this before.
    7pm I am thinking and reflecting now a lot ! I am even starting to think lots more on the childreen in other countrys still srarving to death,
    I think now that i am closer with the inner “Spirit.
    1am.. I have been lost in thaught all day.Past emotions are starting to surface,
    tomorrow is my last day on water

    Day 10…Its finally here,my last day on water, tonight i will finish with an salt enema.
    11pm my final reflection !…this has been such a journey for me and glad i held on for this 10 days on water alone, i will do this again in the future, i have cleaned some of the cobwebs from the closet and more “Spiritually at peace with myself, and others.

    This was a daily account of my very first water fast in 2008.
    My starting waight was 13st 4lbs.
    My waight afrer 10 days on water only was 12st 1lbs
    Best regards keith.

  17. JJ says:

    WOW Keith

    Thanks for sharing that…when you did the water fast were you working at all? I am not sure how to read what your weight loss was I am unaware uf 13st is…I think when i start my juice fast id like to do water within my juice start of with juice then go into a water for a few days.

    I am thankful for this website and you for a resource
    Jess

  18. keith101 says:

    Jess i lost over 15 lbs in 10 days.
    But the longer the water fast the less you will loose!
    The body adapts to not eating, slowing down weight loss the further you go, the body uses the amino acids in the muscles to sustain life and body functions.
    Fear has a lot to do with people.They don’t even lasting a day on water, but i have no fear at all water fasting.
    I tell people to let go of their fears.
    The most amazing thing that you will feel” once you accept the fear is love, then you go into a whole new phase of your fast after the 20 day mark?
    This is where you will see your life for what it is…?
    No i did not work toots.
    Blessings Keithy.

    • Kelly says:

      Hi Keith, I think I don’t have any fear on water fasting, but I just really craving for food, I prayed but when it came to night and I got home, no matter how hard I pray, i JUST START eating … What shall I do, Keith, please give me some wisdom! πŸ™‚

  19. JJ says:

    Keith

    Ok I see I dont have fear, I have faith…But I would like to also see more loss in weight as well so maybe it be a good idea to do the juice fast and with a 5 day fast with in the 30 day juice fast? would that hurt the rate of weight loss or help?
    I start tomorrow!

    Thanks Jess

  20. keith101 says:

    Hi jess
    It depends on your juice/veg intake, do 50/50, water/ juice.
    as i said cayenne capsules, or green tea assist in the waight loss prosses,
    Blessings Keith.

  21. JJ says:

    Hi Keith

    Cayenne Capsules i found say cayenne fruit are those the same?

    Thanks Jess

  22. keith101 says:

    Hi Jess
    Yes that will be fine.
    I have tryed all last night to post my vids on my site and Toms, with no luck, i’m now at wits end. I will try to set up a new account with youtube.
    Did you have a good new year?
    Ps keep a fasting diary so we can post it on the site Jess.
    Blessings Keith.

  23. JJ says:

    Hi Keith

    I know you are busy and help alot of ppl on here just wanted to thank you for your replies back to me I appreciate them. I havent started a diary yet been so busy I work 12 1/2 hour shifts for work so I barley get time to get my sleep in..hope you are well

    Jess

  24. keith101 says:

    Hey Jess
    We only have to work 8 hrs here LOL.
    The cool thing about me; before i messed my life up is that i was self employed. I lost everything apart from my house. But i am so glad these things happened to me.

    Hence, through fasting my life has changed forever. This is why i log onto Toms site every day to help others to see there is a way forward no matter how lost someone feels, there is a way back to normality, MIND, BODY, SPIRITUALLY”
    Through fasting.
    Blessings Keith

  25. JJ says:

    Hi keith

    Hope your fast is going well for you..I am on day 3
    doing juice in am then water rest of the day…I like that the fasting isnt as hard as the first one I did so it tells me im not that toxic anymore this being my fourth fast, and now the most restrictive.
    I was wondering about the enema portion of fasting is there a special kind to use..coffee? ect.
    Thanks

  26. keith101 says:

    Hey Jess
    On my fast, the {SWF} worked for me, however i have taken picolax, this works on the colone only and not the intestines. The {SWF} Works on both, but is a tad brutal to take, but very effective.
    There are herbal enemas that you can oraly intake.
    My fast is going great, this is day 2 on water now, but 8 days fasting in total…
    Starting on the 28th with 4 days of water, then 2 days juice, then this is the offical 2nd day of my 40 day water fast.

    I have an account with youtube now Jess, but still having probs uploading my videos?…I think its that i am working off a dongal, not broadband, so now i have to go and get broadband LOL.
    blessings Keith.

  27. JJ says:

    Hi Keith

    I am not sure what SWF is..can you explain that to me please. I sure hope you can get the youtube thing to work for you. I think it would be interesting.

    Im on day 6 of my fast…its goin ok I really am trying to focus on my inner self what makes me eat when im not hungry etc.

    I have a really slow metabolism so its very hard to lose weight. My body is the type that will only lose and to continue to maintain a healthy weight is if I exercise I do enjoy activity, but winter is harder to do that. I work long days when I work them I hardly have time to get anything done so my days off are really jammed packed and one day a week I help a friend who had quadruplets.

    Wishing you well
    Jess

  28. keith101 says:

    Hi Jess
    The {SWF}..Salt water flush is taken orally.
    What you do is put 2 tablespoons of salt into 1 ltr warm water, then drink it all at once, you can grate a little lime into it to offset the taste of the salt water, but its still yuk, however very effective at cleaning you out and speeding up detox, i will be diong the yummy {SWF} tonight LOL. I will also be cooking for my mother today, but this does not bother me at all when i fast, but i only start cooking for family and friends when i am past the 3 day mark of fasting.
    I wish i could upload my videos on youtube, but i will have to wait untill i get broadband installed, as you know i am working off a dongal.
    Blessings Keith

  29. JJ says:

    Hey there Keith

    How are things for you? I hope going great. My fast is going well I have been sailing through my days I dont even realize what day im on…lol..bummer side of it is I got a aurinary tract infection which blew me away I drink lots of water…but I have discovered that holding urine for long periods can cause them and when I work I cant always get to the bathroom so I assume that has contributed to it …so I have been drinking more water and cranberry juice and sooped up on the Vit C…wanting this to go away SOON!

    Have a great week!
    Jess

  30. Trueberry says:

    I’ve just eaten a bowel of brown rice and cabbage after doing 11 days of vegetable juice fasting. If I do a salt water flash in the morning, can I carry on?

  31. keith101 says:

    Hi Trueberry
    Yes you can do the salt water flush tomorrow morning to cleanse the intestines and colone. Have you done the {SWF} before?…
    Click on http://keith101.wordpress.com
    to look on how to do the flush, ignore the parts on facing in differant directions LOL.
    But you can do the flush for 7 days in a row for max cleansing, bog roll is a must at all times when performing the flush, sorry but true.
    Blessings Keith.

  32. Trueberry says:

    I’ve just read about it today. Thank you

  33. fefa01 says:

    Well, first of all Hi to everyone! I am new to registering on this site but have been reading articles on here for a couple of weeks now.
    I started my first juice fast on Sunday evening, I was doing well until about 8 oclock at night and then had a slice of pepperoni. Still, I battled on until yesterday when I managed to only juice until 8pm again when I had beef stew.
    I am a great lover of food and find it very very difficult to not eat. I am 5ft 7 inches and weigh 65kg, by no means over weight but have some localised fat on my stomach. My boyfriend is a personal trainer and says that I should get rid of this fat although before I met him I never had any issues with the way I looked and now I have developed an obsession that takes over my life.
    I used to enjoy being able to eat what I want after being blessed with a high metabolism. I have eaten sweets most days of my life and am partial to cake when its available.
    I would like to fast to get rid of my abdominal fat and have been working out with a personal trainer 4 times a week to help reduce the fat in this area. I would like to look athletic and not just thin.
    I would really appreciate your advice on how best to approach this. I find it most difficult to give up sugar as this has been my replacement addiciton since giving up smoking in Nov 2008.
    I enjoy all foods, I eat much more than most women and I know that I am being far more paranoid than needs be but I do think that fasting may be the answer.
    Your tips and support would be greatly appreciated.
    I am even considering coming to visit you Tom at your get away resort.
    Look forward to hearing from you,
    Sarah xx

    • Tom Coghill says:
      Tom Coghill

      Hi Fefa01 – Sarah,
      You have to get into a state of mind that is peaceful. Lack of peace is caused by negative thinking.
      The bible has the prefect statement on this by Paul……whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things and the God of peace will be with you. That is the key to all compulsive eating issues. As to coming here there are many options, we now have a volunteer system as we just rented another house in town. So you can come to the retreat and enjoy, volunteer, or just hang out in Sagada. You can live here for under $250 a month and much less as a volunteer. I can call you if you are serious about coming. We are setting up the volunteer house today. It is beautiful.

      • fefa01 says:

        Hi Tom,
        Sorry for the late reply but I have had a very busy week.
        I have been thinking about what you said and I really think that visiting you for 2 weeks to start with would be really good for me to give my life a kick in the right direction.
        I will be speaking to my employers this week and I hope to be able to take two weeks off at the beginning of May. Would this be ok? There is a possibility that I may bring someone with me but either way I will definitely be coming.
        I don’t see any other way to try and find happiness. My life is good, I have a great job and earn great money but still I have a feeling of discontentment. I think I need to find myself and although I am not a great believer in God, I am sure that you have some wise words of wisdom. I want to explore the meaning of my life because at the moment I have no idea why I am on this earth?

        • Tom Coghill says:
          Tom Coghill

          Hi Fefa,
          Yes that would be great if you came but one thing to consider. From the usa it is one day in airports and planes. One day to baguio and one day to sagada. So 6 days total travel. You could do it in 4 but you would burned out even for seasoned travelers. As you can hear by the audios everyone is getting charged up. 21 to 30 days is optimum. To live with total purpose in everything you do is to live inspired, happy and at peace. But like surfing, ouch very hard to get on the board and ride out the wave.

        • lauger says:

          Hi fefa01 the question of why am I here on earth is a great one. My belief is that we are all here on earth for a reason to prove our self to our Heavenly Father and return to live with him. By being honest with others and to learn to love one another. My belief of God goes much deeper I call Him my “Heavenly Father” a close meaning for me . I am on a 7 day water fast and then a 30 juice fast . Second day into my water fast. I log into to site as lauger have great day . Someday I would like to go over and visit Tom family and stay a while sounds soooo peacefull there!!!!

  34. fefa01 says:

    Sorry, I need to correct my last comment,
    I started my first juice fast on Sunday evening, I was doing well until about 8 oclock ON MONDAY night and …

  35. keith101 says:

    Hi fefa01
    You have done the right thing joining a gym.
    Have you tryed making a large smothie when you are hungry later in the night?
    Try adding 30 strawberrys,2 bananas, 2 oranges, 6 apples, 20 grapes, dash squezed lime, try putting them into your juicer, drink chilled, there should be enough juice for 2 portions, this should help with the hunger pangs.
    Tom can give you some more advice on your question, but sometimes you just have to tough it out
    Blessings Keith.

    • nikkisixx89 says:

      Hi Keith,
      I was wondering if you could help me. I have done many fasts before, but I am really struggling to get past the first day or two of the one I’m trying to do now. I want to do 40 days, so that I am in shape (mind and body) in good time for Christmas. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve just lost it. I used to find it really easy to fast, but now it seems so hard! It’s in my head I know, because I don’t feel hungry at all. Do you have any suggestions for battling with your mind and winning? Mine is constantly coming up with reasons to break my fast and start again ‘tomorrow’. It’s absurd because I really want to do this, but I’m having such a mental block! Help :S

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  37. lauger says:

    glad to see I am not alone feeling on what I call a do over from the movie “city slickers”. In my journal I just started on this fast on the 13 juice/ water I call it ” the game”. The game of wanting to quit or keep going.”Game On” is another phrase I use to help win. Hope this might help some one GAME ON

  38. smkmahbtchup says:

    Best of luck to all of you people..I have finished a 2 week water fast and felt amazing and then I just went to the fridge and pigged out ..Ahhh what a fall back ..but im tempting a new water fast and I started at 7 tonight ..Soo..wish me luck I am going to need it ..and keep you guys posted!

  39. charity0709 says:
    charity0709

    So I broke my fast, and did two days of juice and on the third day introduced some fruits, had a yogurt and that night had my first salad…on the fourth day I had some fruits for breakfast and some steamed veggies for lunch, but the thing is I haven’t had any bowel movements, Could it just be from going to fast to foods? I didn’t intake too much

  40. KS says:

    Today is my don’t know how many try to do fasting, around noon, I failed again. 1ST day seemed so easy to everyone, but why I can’t even survive the 1st day. I prayed sincerely and I full of faith in myself again, but I still failed …
    I wish I could be like you guys, I really wish one day I could do my 21 days fasting, I really do want to clean myself and get closer to god …
    I really feel frustrated right now πŸ™

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